PUMA=Peabrained Unactractive Mindboggleingly Asinine

PUMA. This is General Motors & the U.S. Government's answer to our transportation and energy woes. PUMA stands for "Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility" device.
In other words...

A pregnant Segway.



The Segway, some will remember, was promoted with "Buzz" marketing. In 2002 and 2003 it wa touted as the answer to humanity's problem of getting from here to there economically. The idea of a secret advertising campaign is called "Buzz" marketing and so it went. Week after week, small hints were given to the media. The Segway went by the code names of Ginger and "IT". No one knew what "IT" was. A few weeks into the campaign they learned that Segway was a "Human Transporter" and people started fantasizing that it was like a Star Teck teleporter. They were told it was going to change their world forever.

Disclaimer: If you decide to watch the full episode of South Park excerpted here, be aware there is stromg language and gross adult content. The whole episode does explain where I'm going with this article though.



The inventor of the Segway, Dean Kamen , an accomplished inventor who designed the first wearable infusion pump, was convinced that his invention could change the world.



He enlisted the the help of Steve Jobs of Apple fame and Jeff Bezos the innovator and founder of Amazon.com to refine and market his invention. Bezos was enthusiastic but Jobs thought the original Segway design was clunky and needed some serious design work. Kamen got the design and marketing help he needed to introduce Ginger or "IT" to the world. but in terms of success, the Segway was a failure. The public was stunned to learn that "IT" was just a motorized scooter. The Segway, since it's introduction in 2003 has only earned $75 million . Maybe General Motors needs to get a clue.

So that brings us to PUMA the "Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility" device. The vehicle is designed for urban driving, going to the grocery store, although I don't know where you put the groceries. Taking the kids to.....er kid to school could prove to be problematic: it only seats two people. Skinny people. You also had to have a terrific sense of balance.

The projected price point, according to GM, is about 1/4 to 1/3 the cost of a full size vehicle. They don't specify which full size vehicle so the price range could be between $10 to $20 thousand per unit. It is an electric car that has a range of 35 miles on a single charge of it's lithum ion battery.

The vehicles would also be part of a communications network that through the use of transponder and GPS technology would allow them to drive themselves. The vehicles would automatically avoid obstacles such as pedestrians and other cars and therefore never crash, "The PUMA vehicle," Larry Burns, GM developer. said, "would not need air bags or other traditional safety devices and includes safety belts for "comfort purposes. Tell that to a New York City cab.

This is NOT the vehicle that is that is going to save General Motor's or solve our energy crisis. Most applications for this vehicle is in law enforcement in malls and rental in tourism spots. This is the type of vehicle that the Government will try to mandate that we drive, and unless, forced by law to drive these glorified, motorized wheelchairs; most people won't buy them. This venture will fail. I only hope the Bankruptcy Court has a date on their calendar. GM needs a good Liquidation Attorney. Bye Bye American Pie...this will be the day that they die.